"it's the end of your job as you know it..."

I find it appropriate to adapt a REM song for my blog post title. I discovered an all-90s radio station in Sacramento and it's the greatest most random station ever. Goes from Dave Matthews Band to Mariah Carey to Beastie Boys to N*Sync to Dr. Dre to Amy Grant.

Seriously fantastic. Brings about much joy and car dancing every time I get to listen.

http://www.90sbuzz.com/

My Americorps job is over tomorrow.

Hard to believe it's been a year...and yet what a year it has been.

Struggles, growth, challenges, pride, joy, learning, smells, transition, experience, to say the least.

It's not something I'd recommend to everyone, and it's not something I would do again, but I think it was something that I needed to do. Apparently the ol' G-O-D knows what he's doing. At the moment, he's keeping the next step in my journey a secret (which is always frustrating) but I'm actually finding a bit of a peace in the unknown.

Last night was Wednesday night...one of my favorite nights of the week (and without too many shows to watch....though I am now hopelessly hooked on Psych Ü). And my post-college bible study started back up. Always full of lots of laughter, good discussion, and potluck. We talked about Ecclesiastes. Honestly, I had never thought about it as a depressing book in the bible. It's always been one of my favorites. What does that say about me? I don't know, I just like being reminded that there is a season for everything. There's gonna be good and there's gonna be crappy. I find a comfort in knowing that I'm not alone and it's not gonna last forever. It all really is a "chase after the wind."

(though, the stupid Rebecca St. James song has been stuck in my head since talking about it.)

And now it's in yours.

Apparently, Rebecca St. James still makes music. Good to know. I used to do her 40 days with God bible study.

Somehow, it's nearly the end of August. Luckily, it hasn't been too insanely hot this summer. But that has also helped it not feel like summer. It just sped on by. Kids are back in school. I've got my yearly desire to buy school supplies. The Giants are in the playoff hunt. And there's still a month before shows start again. I have a feeling there will once again be too many hours of television that I want to watch and not enough hours in my day. Maybe I need different priorities....nah....I just need all the good shows to not be on Thursday!

One hour and one day left on the job!

Let's do this.

me gusta futbol

Ah, The World Cup. It's like the Olympics with a singular sport :) It's every four years. And it's those every four years that remind me that I do, in fact, enjoy soccer (or rather, futbol). I grew up in the valley....I've been surrounded by it my whole life. A good number of my Saturdays were spent at the soccer fields at CSUS (before that area became the dorms and a pond) cheering on my friends. It was practically required to play at recess and any other P.E. break at Julien Elementary. And it was fun. Some days were more fun than others but I really did like it. And my most vivid memory of playing soccer was in 5th or 6th grade (so...maybe not that vivid, but still) was when a girl named Nessa got her arm broken during P.E. playing soccer. And how happy I was that it wasn't me. But still....it was impressive, and a well kicked ball.

What else makes me like this sport? I admire the crap outta those that play. Have you tried sprinting around for an hour and a half recently? Yeah...I definitely don't make it as long as I did once upon a time. And goalies are straight up badass crazy....in the best way possible. Love them! Much like I love and appreciate catchers. Catchers are just insane. "sure, I'll squat for a couple hours. Wanna throw a ball 90 mph at me too? Ok, sure. Oh, what's that? You want to come racing at me full speed and tackle me while I hold on to a baseball? Yup, bring it on. Cameras showing close up shots of my crotch while I flash some signs? Why not. Hit in the noggin and other various body parts with foul tips and what not? Yup. I'm game." But goalies are flying all over the place....wearing much less protection than a catcher. "You wanna kick a ball at me full speed while I try to read your mind and cover a 8' x 24' area with my best ninja/jedi-like abilities? Okie dokie"

Why else? I'm a girl. Girls like athletes. My top 3 athletes: 1> h2o polo players/swimmers (best overall body and tan) 2> soccer players (have you seen their legs?! glorious to gaze at) 3> baseball players (arms. forearms. catchers' legs. arms.)

But why do I neglect to remember my appreciation and enjoyment of soccer those 3 years between world cups? Call it my Olympic theory. Every 4 years I'm suddenly an expert in things like synchronized diving (the greatest Olympic event ever, in my opinion) and ice dancing (which is different than figure skating....but don't ask me why for another 4 years). Why? Because I need to be in the know....and I need to cheer on MY country. That's the difference. Only during the World Cup does the USA come together and care about soccer. Because we are competitive. Because we love our country. Because tying England felt pretty much like winning. And because you get miraculous moments like those brought to us by Landon Donovan. That is now my most vivid World Cup memory. My previous one? Sitting at a cafe in downtown Lakeland FL and watching the Zidane headbutt incident. But who cares about that now. I've got a genuine American Miracle Moment to care about. It's those things that bring people together....make people care about soccer....and feel good to be American. Because, even if we feel like we are a powerhouse in the world, we still secretly want to be the underdog because it's only when you're the underdog that you get moments like Landon Donovan scoring in stoppage time after being denied a legit goal (AGAIN!) from refs who for some reason hate America.

America may be out of the World Cup now....but I'm still caring about the World Cup. Maybe I'll attempt to hit up a San Jose Earthquakes game someday....but no matter what, in four years, I'll be straight up obsessed with soccer again. USA.

"al azar" (that's spanish!)

sitting at work...thinking "al azar" thoughts

• went to 2 gigantes games last weekend. came back with a new sweatshirt, a new BEAT LA tshirt (which has instantly become my favorite shirt EVER), free rally scarf and Willie Mays bobbleheads, fun memories and a 4-0 record on the season for games that I attend.
• looked through pictures on my facebook and started to mourn my long hair.
• read online that McDonalds used to put sugar on their fries to help kids crave them. I see this having the potential to be accurate. They do something to make you crave them.
• I've been getting 7 hours sleep a night and yet I continually wake up desiring more sleep. Could this be my childhood and college years catching up with me?
• I recently passed the 20 months left of my 20s mark. yup, that's less than 2 years. what a strange thought. an even stranger thought? how much can happen in that short amount of time.
• fresh strawberries are a good start, but I'm beyond ready for some peaches, plums, apricots, and pluots picked from the tree.
• I want to do a Star Wars marathon.
• It's the final week of the TV season. I find myself not caring as much and yet caring way more than ever....if that makes any sense. Suffice to say, LOST shall be consuming my entire weekend.
• It hasn't really sunk in that I get to hang out with my dearest friends from college memorial day weekend for a mini-reunion. Shall be good fun.
• On the other hand, my 10 year high school reunion is in July and I couldn't really care less about going.
• I've actually kept up fairly well with my 2010 year long commitments {read the bible in the year with my bible study group and take a picture a day for project 365 with a group of college friends} Only missed one day in project 365 and I'm only a week behind in the bible reading.
• went to my childhood church a couple of weeks ago. saddened and led to multiple cusswords. sigh.
• purchased 2 VHS copies of Billy Blanks Tae Bo but have yet to actually be productive with them. soon. real soon.
• speaking of VHS, I had to go to wal-mart to find some (5 pack for $8!) so that I can be my historically minded pop culture junkie self this weekend. I shall be adding the LOST finale shows to my VHS finale collection which includes: Full House, Home Improvement, Boy Meets World, Dawson's Creek, Friends, etc. Someday I'll get one of those fancy VHS to DVD converter thingies and transfer. But as much as I love my TV on DVD collection, there's just something special about watching the VHS....especially seeing the commercials that were on :)
• I moved in over a month ago and have yet to put away my laundry....that's not good...huh?
• Wes Anderson was created to make stop-motion animation films. Tis his purpose in this world. If you haven't already watched The Fantastic Mr. Fox, what the cuss are you waiting for?!
• I want to go to the beach, I want to go hike around the mountains, I want a tan. It would be ideal to combine all these wants.
• As a huge fan of Gladiator and of Robin Hood, I was most excited to see the Ridley Scott directed Robin Hood. Let me tell you, I've never been more disappointed watching a movie. Horrible and not Robin Hood. It's basically an origin story. No shenanigans and hardly any archery! Terrible. Only highlight? Kevin Durand (Keamy from LOST) as Little John.
• I want to actually become bilingual in Spanish. I should be more proactive in achieving that Super Random Life Goal.
• 45 minutes and 2 days left in my work week. 102 days left in my Americorps VISTA commitment. Not that I'm counting or anything...

hibernation over....

I spent the better part of my afternoon completely bored and going through friends' blogs when I happened upon my own and saw just how long it had been since I shared some "word vomit" with y'all. Now it's not that I forgot all about my blog, had too much time on my hands, was bored to a whole new level, or filled with so many wondrous and random things that I just couldn't convince myself to narrow it down on a proper topic. No, no, no. It was all of those things combined. Which is quite a unique talent, if I do say so myself.

I've been serving as an Americorps VISTA for 8 months now with less than 4 months to go until I once again get to address the age-old dilemma "what do i want to do with my life?" One of these days that question will have a definitive answer, right? Any thoughts or ideas? Kindergarten teacher is NOT an acceptable answer (no offense kindergarten teachers).

I'm finally down to the last half hour of work for the day. It feels as though it should be AT LEAST Wednesday, but alas, tis only Tuesday. The redeeming part about that? LOST and glee tonight! yip-yip-yippee!

It's not much, but I'll try to put my boredom to good use in remembering how to channel my writing skillz. Namaste.

and p.s. Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you :)

rich vs.poor vs. poverty

In the words of the great Steve Martin in the movie The Jerk:

"I was born a poor black child.'

 Now, like Steve Martin, I was not actually born a poor black child. But for most of my life, I've lived at or below the poverty line. Growing up, I didn't really know this. But that's because of the reliance of my parents on the great evil that is credit cards and also because of the charity of others. Quite the combination. But, I was well dressed and there was food on the table. And a VW bus that the sliding door fell off of. My brother would often have to ride gripping the door handle to make sure it didn't fly off. Good times and character building. 

Growing up in the 80s, it was a material world, and that helped me to think I was a material girl. I'm a tomboy and pretty kickback but when I get things, I tend to want the best. I'm cursed with good taste (but luckily not in everything. I'm not ashamed to shop at the dollar store or list Taco Bell as a favorite restaurant). I got into a bit of trouble my freshman year at college. I had a Nordstrom card and South Coast Plaza was literally 5 minutes away. Plus, I was feeding a growing Roxy addiction...hungered by the close proximity to the beach (not that I surfed). 

My sophomore year at college, events happened which led to my dad losing the house and pretty much all of my childhood possessions. I was obviously devastated. Plus, I now had no home to go home to. Pretty rough. But here's the thing, even then I knew that it could be worse. I know that there will always be people worse off than me. Even after I lost my job as Director of Fun and spent 9 months unemployed, I knew that I was still fortunate to have all that I do.

The way I've looked at it, I've been houseless, but never homeless. I've been blessed by people who love me and help me and feed me. What I learned at my Americorps orientation is that means I'm rich in Social Capital. Which is the truth. I'm blessed. 

My new job requires me to live at the poverty line. When I told my uncle this the other day he was positive that it was illegal and couldn't be done. But I understand it. I'm working with refugees who are coming to America with nothing but a small bit of social capital. They've got a friend or family member who is taking them in. But the goal is for them to become self-sufficient. And really, that's my goal too. I miss having money (not that I ever had a ton to begin with). I miss paying all my bills on time. I miss being able to get in a car and drive somewhere spontaneously. I don't always have the right attitude and I've done my share of complaining and stressing, but in the end, I know I'll be a better person having lived this experience. I have my own place, I'm technically employed, I have a car that is still running (through I'm convinced the power of prayer), and I have a computer to be writing this on. I'm infinitely blessed. 

I know it's not Thanksgiving yet, but I'm thankful. Be thankful for all the blessings you have in your life, no matter how small.

Things I Miss...

• Back-to-School shopping. I love school supplies.
• Spectre.
• Extra Money.
• Traveling.
• Going shooting. Both shotgun and bow & arrow.
• Card catalogs.
• Writing in cursive.
• NYC.
• Having a Fridge with Built-in Ice Maker
• Telephones with cords
• Life before the internet
• Having phone numbers memorized
• Getting fancied up
• Brown Duckie
• Eating Meals with 50+ minor league ballplayers
• The Beach
• Newport Beach Public Library
• Running Around Lake Hollingsworth
• Tailgating at Candlestick
• Life before Twitter existed
• The Bethel Bazaar
• Rock-n-Bowling
• John Cheng Cookies & Chicken Bar Thursday
• Red Steer
• Riding in the bed of a truck
• Skiing
• Gas costing less than $1.00

ponderings and emotions

• this giants/dodgers rivalry is back full force and I love that! and thankful we didn't get swept.
• I've recently discovered Bejeweled Blitz on the facebook. I'm beyond addicted. But yesterday as I was playing, I had to wonder if my addiction was simply because I'm so awesome at the game (which I am) or because the voice telling you "Go" and other stuff is eerily similar to the "Finish Him" voice on Mortal Kombat II. That was a great game. Many hours of my youth was spent on my Sega Genesis playing that before my mom took it away because it was "too violent" I'm still bitter about that. That bitterness rivals only my bitterness of giving away my original Nintendo and my bitterness of not getting to watch Casper in 8th grade because there were ghosts involved.
• I'm ready for the new job. though it really has been a bit nice to not do much. but it shall be nice to have a purpose...not A Purpose-Driven Life, but just living with purpose. Yeah, there's a big difference.
• ready for some new TV shows to start up. I'm going through some withdrawals.
• I've said it before, I'll say it again: I HATE THE DODGERS, but I love Vin Scully.
• went to Target the other day and saw that all the seasons of Alias were only $12.99 a piece. That was disheartening when I thought about the fact that you could get all the seasons for how much I paid for one and a half. The curse of tv on dvd addiction.
• I'm excited for fall to get here. When I was in Monterey a couple weeks ago, there was fog, I wore jeans and a sweatshirt, I ate soup, it was glorious. I'm over the upper 90s. Bring on the fall!

random ramblings and observations

• I am a deranged individual at times, I know this. I can't help laughing and rewatching when someone gets hit by a vehicle on TV or in a movie. And then last week, it almost happened in real life. I was driving home from work and this old man was jaywalking across the road and he didn't see me coming. Luckily, I saw him and slowed to a stop. As I stopped, he finally noticed me and started old man running to get past me - and into the next lane of traffic with another oncoming car. Luckily, the oncoming car was able to stop in time but literally I was seconds away from seeing an old man get hit by a car. And that's when it hit me that it is actually a great fear of mine to see it happen in real life. Maybe that's why I like watching it so much, in hopes I'll never have to witness the real thing. But I really can watch Brad Pitt get hit in Meet Joe Black over and over and over again.
• It is Halloween on Friday. I don't really care about Halloween. What I do care about is the fact that it means that November is this week which means we're really really close to 2009. And that scares me a bit.
• What also scares me a bit is something my friend Jo and I realized yesterday. Next Presidential election, I'll be 30. That scares the crap out of me (along with who knows what is going to happen between then and now)
• I've been over the election for a good long time now. And I haven't begun to peruse the handbook yet. All I know is this: NO on 2. and I'm thinking that the whole high speed railway plan doesn't sound that thought out or absolutely necessary.
• My friend recently posted this on her blog:

5. I've never seen any of the Back to the Future movies, Harry Potter movies, Lord of the Rings movies, Narnia movies, Star Trek movies (or shows), Indiana Jones movies, Matrix movies, Jurassic Park movies or Pirates of the Caribbean movies, nor do I have any inclining of a bit of desire to see them. My friend J might disassociate herself from me for that, but it is true.

I am the friend J that might disassociate and I'm here to say I shall not. I myself have never seen the Harry Potter films (or read the books), I could care less about the Pirates movies, have only seen the Star Trek movie with humpback whales in it (though am actually really excited about the new one. Call it the J.J. factor), hadn't seen the Indy movies until high school, read the Narnia books until right before the first movie came out, never read the Lord of the Rings books (but did find myself a willing participant in the awesomeness that was Trilogy Tuesday), and I only own the Matrix on VHS. But the one that hurts is Back to the Future. That's my true all time favorite/comfort trilogy. I love me some Star Wars...but sometimes you just need a little McFly (p.s. we're almost 6 years away from 2015...where's my hover board?!)

• I'm ashamed of myself as a baseball fan. It completely slipped my mind that the game was on last night. Granted, it was called on account of rain but still. I should have been watching.
• I watched an all day West Wing marathon yesterday. How I miss that show...it was season 3, a real good one. And it got me thinking about a post I did on xanga many moons ago about movie presidents. I still think Bill Pullman in ID4 is the coolest, with a Russian ass-kicking Harrison Ford in a close second, and Kevin Kline in Dave a ultra close third. But TV wise, it's tough to chose between President Bartlett and President Palmer. I still am campaigning for Tom Hanks to play a movie President. Someday my dream will come true.

random rambles from the weekend

• PTL-it is fall officially! I love me some autumn time. I used my heater in my car for the first time on Saturday night (my A/C doesn't work but my heater is a stallion!)


• Speaking of my car...Tomas de la Cruz just passed into the 200,000 mile club. Appropriately, it was on a trip to visit a dear friend from the VUSC whom got to participate in the picture taking cermony in Fres-hole.

• Speaking of a dear friend from the VUSC, I got to hang out with Bri this weekend! It wasn't for a huge amount of time, but it was worth the drive for sure :)


• Speaking of a dear friend from the VUSC, I ended up driving up to Sacramento and seeing Gmar & Jamal on the same day I left Oakhurst. We went and saw The Dark Knight on the IMAX and it was absolutely AMAZING!!!! Third time seeing the movie, first IMAX. Seriously, if you can, you should. You really do feel like you are on top of the buildlings with Batman.


• Speaking of Batman (and its utter awesomeness), I figured something out while watching it this time. Remember the Snickers commercial from back in the day...the one where the guy says "I am Batman!" I used to quote it on end...hadn't really put together that it was actually from the comic and thus real. Though I suppose it's also along the "I am Spartacus" line...


• Speaking of "I am Spartacus", the film That Thing You Do! is one of those I could watch over and over.


• Speaking of That Thing You Do! , good to see Tom Hanks last night at the Emmys, bad hair/glasses and all. I still adamantly believe that he should be our next President in a film.


• Speaking of the Emmys, I really enjoyed them this year...besides the painfully real awkwardness of the opening bit. Add that with Oprah and I thought it equal a terrible evening, but it redeemed itself for the most part. If anything, the combination of two paper company regional managers redeemed the whole thing. I literally laughed til I cried with Ricky Gervais and Steve Carrell (who never said a single word and never broke face. Dear Lord, that's talent!)


• Speaking of Steve Carrell, The Office is BACK! along with HIMYM, Heroes, and a little show I like to call Greys. It's a full week, but this whole DVR thing is rockin'

livin' la vida loca

it's been awhile since i've posted anything here but well, it's been a crazy life...particularly this past week.

I started my new job. That's right, I am the Director of Fun for Stevinson Ranch Golf Club. Is there a cooler job title out there? I highly doubt it. And though I still don't fully know what I'm doing or what my job really entails, I'm lovin' it. I really can't complain. I'm living the life. I hang out at a golf course all day then hang out at a ball park all night and get paid for both. Multiple people are jealous of me and some don't even know it. But this week I averaged about 5 hours of sleep a night. I apparently am not as young as I used to be. Though, I never did well with 4-6 hours of sleep. I owned life when I got 0-3 hours. I freakin' rocked. oh well, I suppose that's what happens with age...though I really thought it was supposed to be the opposite. hmm..

top film of the summer so far=Ironman.
Indy was a good fun time but definitely not the best movie of the summer. Sex & the City was pretty good, way more emotional than I thought it would be. Prince Caspian was good and led me to have an inappropriate crush on Edmond. I think I'm over it now. Incredible Hulk was surprisingly really well done. I fully enjoyed it. Ed Norton is great.
Movies I'm still super stoked to see: Get Smart, Wanted, Hancock, and of course The Dark Knight.
Movies that look super lame sauce: the Love Guru. oh Mike Myers. Where's the genius behind Philip the Hyper-Hypo and So I Married an Axe Murderer?

also, I'd like to point out that thus far, my predictions have been right on. David Cook rocked his way to the title. The Giants are tied for 3rd in the NL West. go me.

and....i downloaded dr. mario on my wii. it's amazing. sadly, just the sound of the chill music brings me back. and the ability to play friends from all over is pretty freakin' awesome. though my skillz are not up to my 2004 BH 304 Dr. Mario Tournament Champion standards. too much work, not enough play. But if you have a wii, we should become wii friends and I officially challenge you in dr. mario and mario kart.

ponderings

• driving to the city yesterday i learned that this is Teen Driving Safety Week in our glorious state of California. what does that mean? really?
• i don't know if i have a happier place than the ballpark in san francisco. win or lose, my heart is filled with joy just walking in. though i could have done without the loss. if i'm bruce bochy, i'm making the fellas come in early and do some fundamental fielding drills today. but let's hope zito can turn this around and be the pitcher we paid for ( i say we, i had zero dollars actually invested, but you know what i mean)
• juno came out today and i had the great debate about which one to buy: standard widescreen or the fancy one with a digital copy. i went digital copy, only to discover today that in order to download the digital copy onto my itunes i need a dvd drive on my computer, which i don't have. dear lord: please help to to get a real good paying job so i can have a macbook pro. amen.
• i want to marry david cook and have a million babies. not actually because i am not a psycho stalker in anyway but his version and overall performance of mariah's always be my baby was that amazing. Overall, i was pleasantly surprised with mariah night. i was really worried beforehand because i love me some mariah carey (though my mom's repeat playings of the merry christmas cd did ruin it for me a little) and none of the singers are up to the mariah goodness. but the guys rocked it and even the girls each made it their own (besides syesha who just wants to be mariah). but the night did find me wanting to go to sleep listening to my music box cd.
• there really is something about keanu reeves that i can't put my finger on but i love and will watch in almost anything. i just went through EW's 24 keanu roles and was reminded of that.
• peanut butter and honey is a tasty treat.